Maryland Knocks The Puke outta Cal

"That's what we do in Maryland! Crabcakes and football!!!"

As a Maryland native and rabid Terp fan who has lived nearly his entire life in California, I had dreaded this day ever since the matchup had been announced. THE University of California was to play a home-and-home series with my beloved Maryland Terrapins.

On the Saturday before the Bears' visit to College Park, two things happened. First, Cal dumptrucked Washington State SIXTY SIX to THREE. Later that day, the Terps sh** the bed against Middle F*cking Tennessee F*cking State. You can look it up. MTSU (because I ain't gonna type the whole name again) plays in something they call the Sun Belt Conference and unless YOU play in the Sun Belt Conference or are a degenerate gambler, you'd have to look that up too.

And now we're supposed to play Cal? Aren't they supposed to challenge USC for the Pac-10 title and a BCS berth? I prepared myself for the worst.

But a funny thing happened on the way to our a$$ kicking.





Yeah, great hit. But it gets better.




At that moment I KNEW Maryland was going to beat these turkeys. When I saw Cal's "Heisman Candidate" Jahvid Best losing his breakfast on national television, it was OVER. The Terps just took a dump on Jeff Tedford's clipboard. Maryland cornerback Kevin Barnes had this to say about the hit. "He's not permanently hurt, so I'm fine with that," Barnes said. "Had he died, I'd have felt bad. He can probably play next week."

Suck it, Cal. You AND your sh***y Pac-10 conference can kiss my a$$! Yeah, take your golf, tennis, and women's water polo titles, but when the rubber hits the road...

Scoreboard. Maryland 35 Cal 27. And it wasn't even that close. See you next year in the Yay Area. I'll be there. And I'll have plenty of my Terrapin brothers and sisters with me. You might want to wait until after the game to eat this time.